Being the Bigger Man
by BEM96
Summary: Oh, how I hate that title. So, I never read the second Imzadi book. So this is my version of what happened between Worf and Deanna, and Will and Deanna and Will and Worf no slash here, that would just be WEIRD after the last season. I'm open for input!
1. Chapter 1

Disclamier: I do not own Star Trek TNG or any of its original characters.

To my readers: Okay, so I know I said I was done for a while, but then I got a horrible cold this week and was laying in bed and my computer was there, and this one just came flying out of my head. I wrote it all in a few hours, so the story is complete, but I will post it one chapter at a time, so I reserve the right to make changes or rewrites depending on your input and feedback. But when this one is out there...I really am done. At least until the new year. I have 3 birthday parties to plan and Christmas and family. Really...after this one, I'm done. But I will post all of this one. As always, I love your reviews. They make my day. And if anyone has an idea for a better title that doesn't give the complete wrong impression for this story...I am all ears!

"Well?" Dr. Crusher asked, leaning on the conference table in the observation lounge, looking at the two officers who still sat across from her in their seats. The morning staff meeting had just ended and as soon as the counselor had left the room, Beverly had turned to talk to the rest of them.

Both Lt. Worf and Commander Riker sat in their seats looking back at her. But Will was lost in his own thoughts.

At first he and Worf's eyes had shifted back and forth from one another, but they both seemed to not want to challenge the other one, and so each of their gazes focused on the doctor across from them. Neither seemed to want to be the one to speak first.

_God, this is awkward, _Will thought to himself. Though, if he were honest, in the last few months, a lot of things seemed awkward between Worf and himself.

…

At first Will wrote it off as his over active imagination. He noticed the way Worf would look at Deanna, or how much time she seemed to be spending with him, but he could always give it a label. It was about work, or it was something for Alexander. She was just helping a friend. But then he began to wonder if this were not some sort of weird adventurous phase Deanna was going through. Maybe she thought it was fun to walk a bit on the wild side. He had let himself indulge slightly in the notion that she was trying to make him jealous, but eventually he had let those ideas go. He knew she didn't play games like that, and certainly not with people she worked with, people she cared about and never with a child involved. She truly loved Alexander. She wouldn't toy with him that way, ever.

And as it became more obvious just how much time they were spending together, Will had found himself having to deal with the fact that Deanna Troi seemed genuinely interested in the ship's Klingon security chief.

Worf had left the weekly poker game fairly early with Deanna and it left little doubt in anyone's mind that there was definitely something going on between the two of them. _What happened to not while we're serving on the same ship?_ Will had almost screamed. If fact, the thought had flung so loudly from his mind that he wondered if she had not heard it. Maybe that is why Worf came back that night, to talk to Will alone. He had been stoic, even formal. Will didn't really expect anything less.

"Commander," he had asked as he came back into the senior staff lounge, where Will was stacking chips. "I was hoping I could speak to you…about a personal matter."

Will felt his stomach churn, but he knew he couldn't just ignore it. Swallowing hard, Will turned to face his friend. And when their eyes met, he could see Worf's uncertainty. They were friends. They were as good of friends as Worf let himself make, and here he was…because he wouldn't just ignore it, as much as Will maybe would have liked to. Worf had more honor than that.

"Shoot," Will tried to make his voice sound casual, but realized that he would need to choose his words more carefully when dealing with a Klingon security chief when it came to such a touchy subject. "I mean, go ahead."

"Counselor Troi…Deanna…She," Worf continued to stumble over what he was trying to say. "I would like…I think we both…" Worf let out a small growl of frustration.

Will certainly hoped Worf had directed it at himself, because as far as Will was concerned, he hadn't done anything to warrant it.

But because Worf was his friend and because he was fairly sure he didn't want to actually hear the words out loud, Will stepped in. "Worf, what Deanna does and with whom is none of my business. She is my friend. I want her to be happy. You are my friend. I want you to be happy. Other than that…I don't know what you want me to say."

Will had a lot of other things to say, but he didn't see that any of them would be constructive, or allow him to leave the room under his own power after getting into a brawl with Worf. Will wasn't stupid. He would loose in a fight. So letting all his thoughts and emotions out seemed only counter productive. It didn't stop them from swirling around in his head though.

_Are you kidding? You want me to say, go be happy? What is this? What do you two possibly have in common? You are the most mismatched people on this ship! And I'm no Klingon, but I know enough about Klingon mating rituals and I have been with Deanna. I do NOT see that happening. _

But in the end, only one of his thoughts found a voice as Worf turned to walk out of the room. "Don't hurt her," Will said quietly.

Worf turned back to Will, but Will looked away, anywhere but at Worf. He didn't want him to see how much this was hurting him.

"Commander, you are my friend as well, and Deanna values your opinion above anyone else's. It is not my wish to dishonor…"

But Will interrupted. "I'm fine, Worf." Will shrugged his shoulders hoping that he might even seem indifferent to the idea. "I'm fine."

That was how he and his friend had left it. They didn't attempt to discuss it again. It was too awkward. But Deanna was not about to let him off so easily. After that night at the poker game, they didn't bother to try to hide that they were dating. It was still timid, and even a bit cautious, but it was happening. Everyone on the senior staff knew it. And it was just a matter of time before it was the hottest ship's gossip.

Deanna had come to his quarters late one night a few days later.

"Come in," he called. He knew who it was. She was the only one who would drop by so late.

"Hi," she said brightly as she walked into his quarters and made herself at home on his couch, _as if nothing has changed,_ Will thought.

"What can I do for you, Counselor?" Will asked, keeping his distance from her. He suddenly felt awkward, as if he sat too close or touched her or kissed her cheek like he normally would that he was going to meet the business end of a Klingon pain stick. The truth was, he didn't know what to do or how to behave.

Deanna only watched him. Whether she read his thoughts or simply took an educated guess on his feelings, he didn't know. "I want to talk about it," Deanna told him simply.

Will made an effort to rise from the couch, but she grabbed for his arm and tugged him back down next to her. "There's no use running, Will. It's not that big of a ship. I'll follow you. And eventually we're going to have this conversation."

Will cleared his throat and looked up at the ceiling, uncomfortably.

"Please, Will," Deanna said softly. "We've been here before."

Will looked over at her skeptically.

"Okay, not here in this exact place, but…" Will looked back at the ceiling. "Will, talk to me. Tell me what you're thinking. I can take it."

"What do you want me to say, Dea?" he said. Even as he said the words, his thoughts let loose. He hoped she couldn't pick up on them.

_What am I supposed to think? You work together and now suddenly it doesn't matter. I think this is a huge mistake, that you are going to find out in a week or two that you don't value the same things and that you two don't have anything in common. And we all will have gone through this for nothing._

Deanna reached out and took his hand in her own. "Will. I know this is hard for you to understand."

"No," Will began.

Deanna reached out and put her hand over his lips to make him stop talking. "And I don't want to hurt you. But I need to do this. I know what you are thinking, what Beverly and the captain and everyone else is thinking. It's one of the great pleasures of being an empath," she added with a hint of pain in her voice.

"I don't think anyone is…" Will tired, but Deanna pressed her hand more firmly to his lips.

"I am not concerned with explaining it to any of them. But I am concerned about you."

"Why?" he asked as she eased her hand away.

"Because, you are my best friend, Will Riker. Because I love you, and I know this has left you unsettled, to say the least."

"Don't," Will said to her, attempting to rise again only to be yanked off balance unceremoniously and plopped back on the couch.

"I'm stronger than I look," Deanna said wryly.

_You better be, _Will thought and winced when he saw Deanna roll her eyes. _She heard that._

"Don't what?" she asked patiently. "Don't tell you I love you?"

"Yes," Will answered scooting away from her hold on him. If she wouldn't let him stand up, he could at least put some distance between them. "I don't know what to do with that," he confessed. "I want you to be happy, Deanna. I have always wanted you to be happy. But this is awkward for me. He is my friend and you two are _so_ different. I just can't picture it."

"Well that's a bit of a relief actually. I think I'd rather prefer you didn't. Picture it," she added when he looked at her with his forehead crumpled in confusion. "But none of this changes how I feel about you. I _do_ love you, Imzadi. I always will."

"Does he know that you're here, saying this? Because I really can't picture him liking this at all," Will told her.

"WORF," Deanna accented his name to highlight the fact that Will was yet to acknowledge he was the person they were talking about, "doesn't get to decide who I talk to and when and where I choose to talk to them. Does he know how I feel about you? I think so."

Will shook his head slightly. "I don't know," he told her, then sighed. "Just…Do you love him?" he asked cautiously.

"Will, it's only been a couple of weeks. Maybe it's nothing. Maybe it's something. I don't know yet. But I know I need to find out. And if I can only have one friend in my corner when I do, I want it to be you."

…

Beverly broke the awkward silence for a second time. "Hello, gentlemen? Are we planning a birthday party for Deanna or not?"

Will looked over at Worf just in time to see him look away. Why was Beverly doing this, here of all places, making them face it like this? For eight years Will had spent every one of Deanna's birthdays with her. He had either planned her party or cooked her dinner and spent the night reminiscing, but now she was dating Worf. So who planned the party?

"Her birthday is in four days!" Beverly urged them.

And then it dawned on Will that Beverly had chosen this moment because she didn't know which one to talk to about it any more than either one of them apparently did. And they happened to be a captive audience and in the same place, which it seemed was an increasingly rare occasion in the last few months.

Will wanted to stand up and say 'I'll take care of it,' just like he always had, but he knew that was the wrong answer. He knew that it was time to let go, to be honest with himself enough to see what was right in front of him. Worf and Deanna had been dating for four months. It wasn't a fling or some weird experiment, no matter what he thought.

Will looked from Beverly to Worf and back to Beverly. It was somehow easier to say it looking at her. "You just tell me when and where and I'll be there," he said hoping he sounded confident and up beat about the whole thing. He even drummed the table casually as he stood up and headed off to the bridge.

...

It had been a lonely few months for Will. Within a few weeks of that conversation with Deanna in his quarters, she had stopped coming by. They had lunch occasionally for another week or so, but even that had stopped. They spoke while they were on duty, but Will found his free time to be like an ever-expanding black hole. He never realized how much of his free time was taken up with activities with Deanna until she was spending her free time with someone else.

It was disconcerting to him how much it affected him. He had a fleeting thought about finding someone to fill his time with, he had flirted with a few, even gone out with one, but the truth was, his heart wasn't in it, or any other part of him for that matter.

He had stopped asking the computer to locate her. More often than not he didn't like the computer's answer. One night a couple of months into the relationship between Deanna and Worf, Will had gotten some good news from an old friend, an old academy roommate. He had headed over to Deanna's quarters to share his news without even thinking.

He rang the chime, but there was no answer. He rang it again. When the doors opened, he immediately regretted coming by. Deanna was standing by the door and she smiled kindly at him. But behind her Worf sat on her couch. Something about how he was sitting made Will want to hit something. Maybe it was just that he looked as comfortable as Will had ever seen him.

Will looked away from Worf and back to Deanna's slightly blushing face.

"Hi," she finally said her voice light. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, no. Everything's fine." Will took a step back. "I'm sorry. You're busy."

Deanna shook her head. "No, we were just talking. Come in," Deanna gestured.

But one look back at Worf made him decline. Worf looked furious, not only that Will was there, but that he had interrupted whatever they were doing before he arrived.

"It's late," Will said to Deanna.

"Don't be silly," Deanna offered.

"It is late," Worf replied from his seat on the couch.

"Yeah, I'll just talk to you in the morning."

"Are you sure?" Deanna tried to get him to look her in the eye, but he was trying to find someplace to look that didn't involve either of them.

"Yes, really. Sorry to have interrupted. Good night," Will stepped back and let the doors close as he turned and walked away. It was the last time that he had gone by her quarters or sought her out.

She had found him the next day walking into one of the workout gyms.

"Will," she called after him as he tried to walk out. "Hi."

"Hi," Will replied feeling a bit awkward.

Deanna tilted her head to the side and smiled up at him. "Are you okay?"

Will nodded, perhaps overly enthusiastically. "Fine. Why?"

"What did you want to tell me?" she asked as she pulled her hair back and into a ponytail, away from her face. As her arms dropped back to her side, Will's eyes were drawn like a magnet to her neck and shoulder line. The bruise was just starting to show boldly against her ivory skin. And just where her shirt fell against her shoulder, he saw what looked distinctively like a bite mark.

Will felt his pulse start to race and his breath quicken. His stomach tied in a knot and he thought for a moment that he might actually be sick. He couldn't say why. Maybe he just didn't want to admit why.

Deanna saw where his gaze fell and awkwardly tugged her shirt towards her neck. "Will," she tried to draw his attention away from the physical signs of her new relationship. "Will, what did you want to tell me last night?"

"Umm," Will saw that she was growing uncomfortable, but words had completely escaped him. His mind was spinning with mental images he never wanted to see. "John Shepherd…I ahh…I got a letter last night. His wife is pregnant. He's going to be a dad."

"Wow," Deanna replied.

"I know. Kind of scary, huh," Will almost smiled.

"I think it's great."

"Yeah, I'm happy for him. You know, that's what people do. They grow up and get married," he sighed. "Have babies… that's what people do. Right?" Will looked down at her again. But as much as he tried to focus on her here, now, in front of him, his mind was wondering about that bruise, that bite…how far whatever it was had gone. If there were other marks he couldn't see. "I have to go," he said.

"You were just coming in," Deanna reminded him.

"Yeah, I…I need to go."

"Will, don't," she pleaded with him. "Can't we talk?"

"Nothing to talk about," he told her stepping away from her. "I'm fine. Are you fine? Because I'm fine. Unless you're not fine." Will stopped and looked at her seriously.

"I'm fine," she finally told him, knowing that he would walk away from her.

"Good," he nodded. "I'll see you later."

He had told himself in the beginning that they were completely incompatible. They would see it in a few more days, a week or two maybe. He would just sit back and let it take its course. And when it came crashing down, he would be there to catch her, to hold her and tell her it was going to be okay, and because he had stayed out of it so well, he would be able to pat Worf on the shoulder and say, 'No hard feelings, it's just the way it is,' and they would all go on. If Deanna could be friends with Will, she could be friends with Worf. It wasn't like their relationship would ever get as far as Will's had with Deanna.

But one week turned into two and two into three and there was no sign of trouble. They seemed to be getting closer by the day, actually, and when Will saw evidence that their physical relationship was progressing, he knew it was just a matter of time.

...

He had lost her… to maybe the last person he had ever imagined. In his more rational moments, he reminded himself that there were worse men she could have chosen than Worf. He was a good person…certainly honorable. He obviously cared for her. He may be a little controlling, but he would not be unkind. He wouldn't walk away from her and leave her dangling in no man's land like Will had all those years ago. Worf was a good man, his friend. He wanted Deanna to be happy… But in truth, maybe he meant happy enough until he got it together and they could work it out. He didn't expect her to be pining after him. He knew better than that, but he always thought, in the back of his mind…when push came to shove they would be together in the end, and now he could feel that slipping through his hands. He told himself that she wasn't his to loose and hadn't been for a long time, but as he walked onto the bridge, leaving Worf with Beverly to plan her birthday party, he knew he had lost her all the same.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek TNG or any of its original characters.

To my readers: Not a lot of feedback going on here- so I am just putting out what came out of my head. I would love more feedback!

Will sat with the captain in his ready room reviewing reports from the various departments when the conversation turned to Deanna's upcoming birthday.

"I was thinking of giving her a book called _The History of Thought. _It is supposed to be a geological history of Betazoid culture. What do you think?" the captain asked his first officer.

Will felt that uncomfortable sinking feeling in his stomach that seemed to be present whenever Deanna was mentioned lately. He couldn't very well tell the captain to go ask Worf what he thought. He would have to be more diplomatic than that.

"I'm sure she will love whatever you get her," Will told him.

The captain walked around his desk and leaned on the back of a chair. "Is that a no?" he asked.

Will put his head in his hands.

"Number one, wouldn't you say that I go out of my way to not involve myself it the personal lives of my officers?"

Will answered without looking up. "Yes, Sir."

Jean Luc walked to the couch and sat next to his first officer. "Will, this isn't about my officers. This is about my friends. Because as far as I can tell, as officers, all of you are doing fine jobs of not letting any of this affect your work…"

"But?" Will asked looking back at him.

"But we are all people, Will. We all have emotions."

Will smiled slightly. "Sometimes I envy Data," Will admitted.

"I have had that thought," Jean Luc told him nodding in agreement, but then he looked back at his first officer more seriously. "Are you alright, Number One?"

"Fine. I'm just fine."

But the captain only shook his head slightly. "I know that I, for one, did not see this one coming, until it was…"

"I know," Will said. "I just want Deanna to be happy," Will reiterated his standard speech.

"Yes, I know. And she wants the same for you. I have heard you both say it many times. I just don't ever know if you are trying to convince me or yourselves."

"We have both dated other people before. This isn't any different."

Jean Luc raised one eyebrow. "Isn't it?" he asked.

Will sighed heavily. " It feels different," Will said putting his head back in his hands. "I know I should be okay with it. I want to be okay with it…"

Jean Luc put his hand on Will's shoulder. "I think you have handled it well, for what it's worth."

"Thank you, Sir. And I think she'd love the book," Will said with a small, but sincere smile.

"Do you know what you are getting her?" the captain asked.

Will nodded. "I will pick it up tonight when I get off duty."

In truth, Will had decided what to give Deanna for her birthday almost six months before. He had wondered at one point during the day if it was still the right gift under the current circumstances, but he knew that she would love it and even more than that, it would make her happy.

…

Months before, they had been in his quarters trying to finish up the quarterly personnel reviews and somehow they had ended up talking about missing home and being homesick.

Her head had been resting on his leg where he sat on his couch. Occasionally he would run his fingers through the long curls of hair that dangled over his lap.

"Do you miss Earth… home?" she had asked him.

Will had shrugged. "I miss things about it, I guess. I miss the fresh air. I miss the mountains. I miss a few people, but I don't think I ever really get homesick. Do you?"

Deanna sighed and snuggled into him a little further. "I miss the simpler times of my childhood sometimes when adult things seem complicated."

"Longing for simpler times is not the same as homesick," he had told her.

"No, I suppose it's not." Deanna rolled onto her back so she could look up into his eyes.

"I miss things, I think," she told him.

"Like?"

"The music, the art…"

"We have Betazoid music in the computer data banks. We probably have art too."

"It's not the same," Deanna told him wrinkling her nose.

"Why?" he asked her honestly.

"Why isn't the breeze on the holodeck the same? It just isn't." Deanna paused for a moment before continuing. "I guess I miss being around other people who share my culture. I love meeting all of these other cultures and exploring… but sometimes I do miss being around people just like me."

"There is no one else in the universe just like you," Will told her with a hint of mirth in his tone.

Deanna stuck out her tongue at him like a playful child.

"Don't tease," Will responded. But as she had settled back in to the review she held in her hand, his mind was on Betazoid culture. Sometime over the next few hours he had decided on her present, a print of a Betazoid painting that meant so much to her, that she had told him once a million years ago, that she would go stare at once a week to let it reflect on her soul. Will had even picked out in his mind the perfect place to hang the painting, on the wall of her bedroom, to the left of her bed, and he decided on the correct lighting for it. Then he tucked the thought away and waited for the next occasion to give it to her.

…

As much as he wouldn't admit it, it was always important to Will that he get her just the right gift. He put a lot of thought into it. He wanted her to love it. But there was another part, probably a less attractive part of it that he didn't admit to very often. At every birthday party they had ever had, any occasion actually, he always gave her the best gift. It was like a symbol to everyone else that he knew her the best, that he had a different relationship with her than the rest of them. He and Deanna were special to each other, and in those moments, when she treasured his gift more than the others, he knew everyone else knew it. There had been a time or two that the captain had rivaled him in gift giving, but that shouldn't have surprised him. When the captain gave you something, it was important, to him, or to you or both. He made sure that it spoke to the relationship he had with the person he was giving it to, and the captain's gifts certainly spoke to his own unique relationship with Deanna.

But Worf…What would Worf get her? Will couldn't even begin to guess as he walked through the doors into the ship's store and found him looking at the back of the security chief.

Worf turned slightly to see who had entered behind him, and Will saw his posture stiffen slightly, if that were even possible, when he saw that it was Will Riker behind him.

"Commander," he acknowledged.

"Hello Worf. Getting Deanna's present?" Will tried to keep the conversation as light as he could.

"Yes," Worf answered. "The party will be the day after tomorrow at 19:00 hours in ten forward."

Will nodded. "Yeah, Dr. Crusher told me."

The two stood nodding at each other, glancing around the room for the source of another topic. _We must look like imbeciles, _Will thought. "So have you picked something out?" Will asked just for something to say.

"Yes," Worf answered and the two went back to their awkward silence.

"Have you?" Worf finally asked.

Will shrugged. "I have a pretty good idea."

More silence.

"So, what did you get her?" Will asked casually, but he was deeply curious.

"Perfume," Worf answered.

"What she usually wears? Or something different?" Will couldn't help himself. What kind of perfume would a Klingon buy? Deanna usually smelled like fresh…fresh something…was it fruit…flowers?

"No, I chose the perfume she wears on special occasions."

Will furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. "What perfume is that?" he asked puzzled.

"It is a Betazoid scent. Her mother gave it to her a few years ago."

"You mean that huge bottle shaped like a shell that her mother gave her when she was in the phase?" Will asked confused.

Worf nodded.

"That huge shell bottle in her bathroom," Will confirmed.

Worf nodded again.

"The really big bottle…"

"Yes," Worf seemed annoyed. "You would think it would have been enough to last a lifetime, but Alexander heard Deanna tell her mother the last time that she was aboard, that it had been knocked over and the vast majority of the perfume spilled several months ago. So I thought I would replace it."

"Wow," was all Will could manage out loud, but his thoughts were incredibly busy.

_You have GOT to be kidding me. She hates that perfume. It didn't spill! She dumped it out! She hated everything about it, the bottle, the smell, but most of all…her mother gave it to her to attract a man, because…and I quote 'she was clearly incapable of taking care of this without her mother's help.' Oh, she is going to hate your gift! How can you think she likes that? It's horrible. And she doesn't wear it on special occasions. She wears it when her mother is here to keep her off her back. _

"Here you are, Lieutenant," one of the clerks said carrying the horrifically large shell shaped bottle towards them. "Did you want this wrapped?" she asked.

"Yes, thank you." Worf told her. He seemed to be oblivious to Will's mental cartwheels.

_I can't believe that you don't know she hates that stuff. What exactly have you two been talking about for four months?_ Will tried to hide his shocked expression. _Maybe you haven't been doing that much talking. Whoa, back up. Don't picture it. _Will's head shook involuntarily. _Too late._

"Is there a problem, Commander?" Worf asked still clearly irritated.

"What?" Will was pulled from his own thoughts. "No, why?"

"You shook your head."

"No I didn't," Will tried to cover his reaction.

_Now might be a good time to tell your FRIEND that he is making a huge mistake, _he told himself._ But on the other hand, it's not my job_ to_ tell him how to woo his girlfriend. If he doesn't know her well enough to get a gift she doesn't detest, who would it benefit to have it appear that he did?_

Will felt like an old cartoon character with an angel sitting on one shoulder, telling him that Worf was his friend and when a friend fell down and a shuttle was about to run over them, you helped them up. But on the other shoulder sat the devil whispering for him to keep his mouth shut. This was it…the beginning of the end.

He could see it play out. She would hate the gift, though she would say that she loved it, and then she would pout for the rest of her party. Then when they were alone he would ask why she was behaving so irrationally, and she would say that he didn't know her at all. A fight would ensue and with any luck they were broken up by morning.

"Here you are," the clerk handed a wrapped box large enough to hold the offending bottle to Worf and then she turned to Will. "And what can I help you with Commander?" she asked.

"Oh, I'll just need a minute," Will replied and the clerk smiled and turned and left.

"I would appreciate it, Commander, if you would not tell Deanna about her gift."

Will tried to contain his smirk. "Not a chance in hell, Lieutenant," Will replied gleefully, and Worf walked out, carrying his box with too large of a bow in front of him.

"Oh my God!" Will said under his breath as the doors closed. Will had heard Deanna rant about that smelly bottle of rubbish in her bathroom on more than one occasion. And Deanna's boyfriend had just walked out holding a box full of a large bottle of replacement rubbish. She was going to hate it! He wasn't even sure she could fake a thank you. Oh, she wouldn't know what to do with that. "Holy crap," he mumbled. He had been wondering if Worf would outdo his gift and of everything he could have picked for her, he got her rubbish. Will knew it was awful, but he couldn't stop the smile that was spreading across his face.

He had the best gift. Worf picked something she absolutely detested. Even Data would outdo Worf. Will shook his head to himself. This was going to be like a shuttle accident. You just couldn't look away.

Quickly Will found the order he had made a few days before and asked the clerk to wrap it.

"You must be very fond of your gift," the clerk told him, smiling coyly back at him.

"Oh…yes. I am very fond of my gift." Will nodded with a wicked grin.

"Hey Commander," Geordi Laforge said striding into the store. "Who's canary did you just eat?" he asked walking up next to him.

"What do you mean?" Will asked casually.

"I mean you have a smile on your face like the cat that ate the canary. You must have got her one hell of a gift," Geordi commented nodding his head in the direction of the wrapped painting that was being carried towards them. "Want to give me a suggestion?" Geordi asked as he began to scroll through the ships catalogs.

"I'm sure she's like whatever you get her," Will told him.

"Yeah, but come on. This isn't exactly any birthday. And now I have to think about what Worf got her and then get something… you know…less."

"What do you mean 'less'?" Will asked suddenly concerned as he nodded to the clerk who handed him the wrapped painting and thanked her.

"I don't know." Geordi shrugged. "You know, you shouldn't outdo the boyfriend gift. It's…I don't know, bad manners or something. The boyfriend should give the best gift. Right?"

Will felt just a slight hint of guilt for letting Worf walk out with that gift. It really didn't matter what Geordi chose. He was going to outdo the boyfriend's gift. Everyone was. Will could have bought her a brick as a paperweight and he still would have been a step ahead of Worf.

"I wouldn't worry about outdoing Worf," Will said slightly reluctantly. He was slightly misleading his friend, he knew. But what else could he do? "Just get her what you want."

"What about this?" Geordi said pointing to an image of a bracelet in the catalog.

Will made a face. "Eah," he told him.

"What about these?" he said pointing at earrings on the next page.

Will only shrugged.

"I hate getting presents for people," Geordi groaned.

_You can't do worse than Worf,_ Will thought.

"I'm sure you'll find something. Goodnight Geordi." Will picked up his gift and walked out heading to his quarters. For the first time in months, his step was light and he had a smile on his face.

Will went on with his daily activities the following day with a sly smile plastered to his face. He did his bridge duty and filed his reports. But as the day went on he found himself watching Worf and Deanna's movements with a warped fascination.

_Are they really that close? They can't be. Not with a gift like that, Right? I'm doing the right thing. If they aren't compatible, they aren't compatible. It's better they know it now. It wasn't like I said,' hey, go pick out stinky perfume she hates'. He picked it. I just didn't stop him. So what? So I'm going to have a ringside seat for the beginning of the end. I have been so good. I handled the whole damn thing with dignity. So, maybe I'm taking a little pleasure in it. So what? It is not my job to fix it._

The more that the angel side of his shoulder nagged at him, the more he told himself that it wasn't his job. This was Worf's thing. And if he hadn't happened to walk in to the store when he did, he wouldn't have even known anything about it.

He had barely walked in his quarters from his bridge shift and sat down behind his desk when his chime rang.

"Come in," he called

The doors opened and Beverly Crusher came charging in, a PADD outstretched in her hand. She tossed it in front of him on the desk without a word.

"Hello Doctor," Will greeted her cautiously.

"Help me," she told him with an aggravated expression on her face.

"With?"

"With this!" She pushed the PADD closer to him. "It's a mess. It's going to be a mess. Help me!"

"Deanna's party?" Will asked still looking at Beverly and not the PADD.

"Yes!"

"No," Will said pushing the PADD back towards her.

"Why? Are you trying to torture me or her?"

"Neither!" Will insisted and shrugged his shoulders. "It's just not my place."

"Bull Shit."

"Excuse me?"

"You are her best friend. At lease look at it and tell me what to do. He picked weird food and weird music and I swear to god, Will; if you don't step in, she is going to celebrate her birthday by hunting a kolahr beast and drinking it's blood! Help me!"

Will sat up a little taller. "Really?" he asked intrigued, trying not to show his distinct pleasure at the idea.

_This is going to be better than I thought._

Beverly sighed and sank into a nearby chair. "Okay, it's not quite that bad. But it's weird. The whole damn thing is weird if you ask me. The whole relationship is WEIRD! There. I said it out loud. I am officially a rotten friend and a horrible judgmental person. I like Worf, I swear I do, but it doesn't make it any less weird." She looked up to see Will choking back a smile. "And you think this is funny? This is a game to you? You…you..." but she couldn't come up with an appropriate end to the sentence. "Are you going to help me or what?"

"I guess what," Will told her. "I'm sorry Beverly. If you don't think she'll like it, talk to Worf. This is his thing now."

"And you're just okay with that?" she asked him incredulously.

"Do I have another option?"

"Yes."

"Really?"

"Yes!"

"Really?" Will asked her even more intently.

Beverly leaned back in the chair and looked up at the ceiling. "He didn't even ask for something chocolate. Not one thing. I mean, come on!"

"Really?" Will asked again, this time honestly intrigued. "What kind of cake did he order?"

"He didn't order a cake. He ordered a blood pie thing. I am not eating that."

"No chocolate? None at all?"

"None," Beverly replied appalled.

"Look, Beverly. This is their thing. I don't feel like I know well enough to say that she wouldn't want it this way,"

_Yes I do. She's going to be totally appalled._

"Why don't you just go with what he planned. Or talk to him about it," he offered.

_Don't talk to him. Let him wreck it. This really is it. If I had known that a party could wreck the whole thing, I would have found a reason for a party about three months ago._

"But you aren't even going to look at it?" Beverly asked.

"Nope," he said pushing the PADD back to her. "Sorry."

_No, I'm not. I think this is great!_

"Not even a peak to give me some ideas? You KNOW that you know what she likes." Beverly wiggled the PADD in front of him as if to tempt him.

"Sorry, Doc," he told her.

"Oh, fine. You are useless," she said storming off towards the door. "But I am getting her a chocolate cake. And I am going to tell her it is all from me and we are going to sit there and eat it just to two of us, and leave the rest of you with gross blood pie."

"You do that," Will said chuckling from his seat as she walked out the door.

Will felt giddy with pleasure as he walked in to ten forward a few hours later. He slipped into a seat at the bar.

"Good evening, Guinan," he greeted the bartender as she approached him.

"Uh, oh," she said. "You're up to something."

"Why would you say that?" Will asked defensively.

"Well, for starters, that's the first real smile that I have seen on your face in months. What did you do? And to whom?"

"I didn't do anything," Will told her. "Nothing at all."

"I don't believe you," Guinan said in her low voice. "And I'll warn you right now, if it is going to interfere with that birthday party tomorrow night…I wouldn't do it. The doctor is high strung about this. She was in here a while ago ranting about chocolate cakes…as if I would have made food for Deanna Troi's birthday and not have chocolate…please. Still, I wouldn't mess with her."

_See, even Guinan knew better than to not have chocolate cake._

"Guinan," Will said with a smug smile. "I have no intention of doing anything to disrupt what Worf and the doctor have planned. I promise."

_Not one damn thing._

"Good," Guinan said putting a glass of ale down in front of him. Then she pointed back towards the windows. "She does seem happy," she said before turning and walking away.

Slowly Will took a swig of his drink, put the glass down and turned to see where Guinan had pointed.

And there they were. Worf, Deanna and Alexander were sitting at one of the tables in the back, a chess game between father and son and Deanna sat between them. Will watched as Deanna laughed and lightly tickled Alexander on the arm, then scooted in her chair so she sat closer to Worf. As the game went on, Deanna rested her head on Worf's shoulder and he put his arm around her, leaving his hand resting in the small of her back.

Will realized after a minute or so that he was staring at them, but he couldn't seem to take his eyes away from them. They looked…cozy, like… Will felt his stomach sink at the thought. They looked like a family. And it certainly appeared that they were happy that way. As he continued to stare, completely unaware of anyone else in the room, Deanna looked up at Worf and smiled. That smile froze Will's heart. He had seen that smile. It was genuine, and it came from her soul. Deanna was happy. Whatever it was, whether he understood it, or anyone else understood it or not…Deanna was happy sitting at a table watching Worf and his son play chess.

Slowly, mostly to not draw attention to himself, Will turned away from them and back to the bar. Whatever feelings of confidence or happiness he had when he walked in were gone. He stared into his glass and tried to get some sort of a grip on what he was feeling…what he had been feeling all day and what he felt now. He thought he had wanted the party to be a huge bust, for the gift to get a less than favorable reception. He had been playing the scene out in his head all day. But now, as he played out the scene, he saw Deanna in his mind, upset and sad on her birthday, and it didn't make him feel better at all.

He began to repeat in his head that this was not his place, to just let it take its course, that he was even doing her a kind of favor, but the words didn't bring much comfort either.

He sat thinking for quite a while before turning back and daring to look again.

Worf and Deanna were chatting, looking out at the stars. And Alexander was curled up half in his chair, half in Deanna's lap. He appeared to be asleep, and Will watched as Deanna ran her fingers tenderly through his hair. _Like a mother would._ He looked back at Deanna's face and again saw her smile that smile, the same one that he knew he would do anything for when she smiled that way for him.

With a sigh, he quietly walked out of the bar and began the walk to his quarters. It seemed like a longer journey than the one he had taken to get there. This time there was no smile or lightness in his step, just a man torn between what he wanted for himself and what he wanted for her.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek TNG or any of its original characters.

To my readers: Thank you for the reviews! They are Wonderful! It is so much fun to be able to hear what you are thinking while you read it.

Will didn't sleep that night. His thoughts were racing and even as he tossed and turned in his bed, he knew it was hopeless. All he could see was Deanna smiling at Worf, and then his imaginary image of her, sad and upset the following night at her birthday celebration. Wasn't there a way to show them that they weren't compatible that wouldn't hurt her, especially on her birthday, and in front of her friends?

Finally Will gave up and climbed out of bed and went out and sat on his couch. He saw Deanna's wrapped present leaning against the wall in the corner, and he walked to it and began to carefully unwrap it. He propped the painting on top of his desk and returned to his seat on the couch. He stared into the swirly paint blobs and tried to clear his mind the way Deanna had taught him so very long ago. Maybe the answer was in the painting. Maybe it would speak to his soul somehow…

Will looked until his eyes were blurry, but all it managed to do was churn up old emotional memories of Deanna. He put his head down on his couch and rubbed at his aching eyes. He missed her. He missed his friend. But he missed more than that. He missed the way she smiled at him, the touch of her skin against his, he missed her smell, the soft lilt to her voice, her laughter over something he had said or done. He missed the feeling of her hair against his face, the feeling of her in his arms. What was it he wanted? Did he want things back the way they were? Or did he want something more?

Slowly he drifted off to a fitful sleep, but still his mind churned with images of Deanna…Deanna in his arms, kissing her, making love to her…but then everything morphed and changed and she was with Worf, kissing him, making love to him.

Will sat straight up, wide-awake and breathing hard. He put his face in his hands and groaned. _I'd rather stay awake, _he thought. He looked back at the Betazoid painting and studied it for a while longer before he tried to rewrap it like it had been. It didn't look quite right, but he was deliriously tired. It always amazed him how emotional turmoil could exhaust him more than any amount of strenuous physical activity.

It was 03:00 hours. He went in and took a shower and read through some work files. By 05:00 he gave up and headed to the bridge, relieving the gamma shift commander early and taking his seat. He hoped that once he was at work, his mind would be able to focus on something other than the tug of war between doing something to salvage the would be birthday disaster and letting nature take its course.

Unfortunately, the day was slow, and nothing about the astronomical readouts of the nearest star systems did anything to divert his attention away from his mental dueling match. Was it really right to lie to her, just to make her happy? And for how long? A day, a week? It didn't seem like the right call, but the other option made him feel horrible. By midday he realized he was counting time to the moment of the party. _Seven hours until I have to have made a decision. _By the time he walked to engineering to review a personnel transfer with Commander Laforge it was only four hours and by the time he got off duty and headed back to his quarters it was only two.

Still as he paced back and forth across his front room, he had no answers. "This isn't my job to fix," he said out loud, though he was alone in his quarters. "Just let it take its natural course. That's the best thing. Don't get involved." He continued to pace. "But you are involved, you idiot. You stood there and watched him buy a gift she hates and you didn't do anything." He sighed. "Why did I have to see his gift? And why am I talking to myself like a crazy person?" he asked gesturing with his hands. "See what she's done? Her and the crazy Klingon…they have actually driven me crazy!" Will shook his head and walked over to the replicator for a glass of water. "She said once that you're not crazy until you start answering yourself," he said sitting down at his table. "So I think I'm still okay. Okay, except someone hit me in the head with a gargantuan bottle of cheap perfume," he said rubbing his temple. "Oh," he said putting his forehead down on the table's cool surface, "what am I going to do?"

He was still arguing with himself as he picked up the painting in its slightly shambled wrapping and carried it out of his quarters. It wasn't particularly heavy, but it was a bit awkward as he tried to maneuver through the ship's corridors.

"See, that's why you get something small," Geordi said to Data as they rounded the corner and saw Will struggling around people in the corridor.

"So you picked something?" Will asked as they all approached the turbo lift together.

Geordi held up a small wrapped box.

"How about you, Data?" Will asked.

"I selected a book of poetry by a well known Torsian poet of their 12th century."

_Okay, maybe Worf and Data would tie. _Will only nodded.

"Are you alright, Sir?" Geordi asked. "You look exhausted."

"I didn't sleep much last night," Will admitted. "Can I ask you something?" he asked as the turbo lift doors slid open. "Do you think one bad choice makes you a bad person? Or is it just a bad choice? I mean, you can't judge someone on just one action. Can you? And whose to even say it's the wrong choice? Maybe it's the right choice? Right?"

Geordi and Data looked at one another as if they did not know what to say in response.

"In some situations, Sir, it would appear that there may not be a right or wrong, simply two different choices," Data offered. "Deck 10," Data spoke to the computer and the lift began its short decent.

"Exactly! In which case, I can't make a wrong choice? Right? It's just a choice. And maybe she wouldn't even want me to drag it out. Maybe she would rather have it be quick and clean."

"Commander, I have no idea what you're talking about," Geordi admitted. "Are you sure you're alright?"

"No! I spent the last two hours talking to myself like a crazy person and I still don't know what the hell I should do!"

Data and Geordi only watched the Commander puzzled by his odd behavior, as he seemed to fume in the lift. "And we're all supposed to yell surprise in what, five minutes?" Will asked.

"Seven minutes, 8 seconds. Assuming that Counselor Troi arrives on time," Data clarified for them all.

"Okay," Will said with a sigh. "One more question." Will turned to look at both of them as the turbo lift slowed to a stop. "You are planning a birthday party for Deanna Troi. What kind of cake do you order?"

"Chocolate," Geordi and Data answered almost in unison.

"Thank you!" Will said picking up his present again and walking out of the lift feeling very vindicated. Geordi and Data on the other hand looked at one another puzzled. Then Geordi gave a quick shrug and they followed him towards ten forward.

"There you are!" Beverly cried when the three of them walked in the door. She was standing on a chair hanging the end of a banner. "You sure took your time."

"Oh come on, Doc. We beat the birthday girl," Geordi told her placing his gift on the table with the others. "Where is she anyway?"

"She has an appointment until 18:55, then she will make her log and then she is supposed to meet me here for dinner." Worf informed them.

"I don't know why we try to plan surprise parties for her," Beverly chimed in. "You know she knows, right?" she said to Worf.

"You said a surprise party, not me. I do not believe in surprising people unless it gives you a strategic advantage."

"Oh, calm down, Doctor," the captain said helping Beverly down from her chair. "She may already know, but I am sure she appreciates the effort of trying to surprise her."

The entire senior staff was now there, except of course for Deanna. And there were a few other friends of Deanna's milling about the room. It wasn't a large party.

_But sure to be interesting,_ Will thought as he placed his gift so it leaned against the table where the other gifts had been placed. On the opposite side, tucked in the back, Will saw the box with the large bow that Worf had carried from the store and he sighed.

_She's gonna hate it. She's gonna hate it and it is gonna ruin her birthday. Maybe they aren't compatible; maybe they should figure it out on their own. But does it have to be today? It's her birthday! _Will hung his head with a heavy sigh, then looked from the door Deanna was bound to walk through any minute and back to Worf. He had to do something.

"Worf," he called.

Worf turned from what he was doing to face the first officer.

"Can I talk to you for a minute," he glanced quickly at their friend that were all now watching him. "Alone?"

"Commander, Deanna is due to arrive any minute. Can it wait?" Worf asked him, looking to the door much as Will just had.

"Yeah," Will began almost relieved to have an excuse to do nothing. Then he sighed again. "No, actually it can't," he said just as Worf was turning away from him.

Worf turned back to face Will, and he looked slightly annoyed. "What is it?" he asked.

Will looked around again. Geordi and Data stood together watching him, as did the doctor and the captain. This was not how he pictured doing this…

"Can we…" he nodded away from the group with his head.

"Commander, it is two minutes to 19:00 hours. Does it really need to be addressed now?" Worf asked insistently.

Will closed his eyes briefly and took a deep breath. _Two minutes_, he thought. And he was still making his decision.

"Apparently," he answered as he quickly cleared his throat. He couldn't quite believe what he was about to do. "Give me the card on your gift," he said.

"Why would I do that?" Worf asked skeptically.

"Because we're trading gifts."

Worf looked at him skeptically. "And why would we trade gifts?"

_This is not going to be easy. _"Couldn't you just take it on blind faith?" Will asked hopefully.

"No." Worf folded his arms across his chest and glared at his commanding officer.

"Don't hit me," Will offered in a preemptive strike.

"I will not promise that." Worf said, his voice just shy of a growl.

Will hung his head and covered his face with his hands. "Ahhh!" he cried in sheer frustration with himself. He dropped his hands and looked back at Worf. "She hates your gift," he said bluntly.

"You said you would not tell her," Worf began defensively.

"I didn't tell her. I just know she hates it."

"Just because you do not believe..."

"She HATES your gift!" Will tried again more emphatically. "That perfume her mother gave her…She hated it from the moment her mother handed it to her. It didn't spill. She dumped it out. She only left enough of it so she could wear it occasionally when her mother was around so she would lay off about finding a suitable man and getting married and having babies. She doesn't wear it on special occasions. She only wears it around her mother. She hates the smell of it. She hates the bottle…She just hates it." He said, his tone falling as he finished. He almost winced as he looked back to where Worf stood.

"You were there when…"

"I know," Will interrupted him. "I know. I know. I am a horrible person. Okay? I admit it. I know you think I'm just being a jerk, and you're not that far off. Yesterday and the day before…then I was being a jerk. You just didn't know it. I was going to just sit back and watch you give her a gift I knew she was going to hate. I was even taking immense amounts of pleasure in it, I promise you. But now, I'm trying to fix it. I am trying not to be a jerk. It just seems like I am. Ironic really," Will tried to lighten the mood a bit, but it wasn't going to work for him.

If Worf was hurt that Will had just told him that he had picked the wrong gift, he hid it well under a mask of sheer annoyance.

"So you are just going to switch the cards and what? You want me to lie to her?"

"Yes!" Will said with a snap and point of his finger.

"No," Worf said simply shaking his head.

"You would rather give her perfume she hates," Will said baffled.

"How will lying make it better?"

"It's better because in my version, you give her a gift she loves as opposed to something she hates. See how that's better?"

"And what is it that you propose that I give her?" Worf asked him gesturing towards the gift next to Will.

"It's a painting," Will told him. Worf didn't seem satisfied with that answer. But Will couldn't help but feel they were running out of time. Now instead of Deanna disliking her boyfriend's gift she was going to walk in and find the two of them yelling at each other over her table of gifts. Somehow Will didn't see that making the night go any better.

"It's a painting of paint globs that don't look like anything, alright?" Will said quickly, starting to loose his patience.

"And she LOVES these paint globs?" Worf asked skeptically.

"No, I got her a painting she hated and now I'm trying to pawn it off on you! Just give me the damn card!" Will held out his hand, but Worf made no move.

"What is its name?"

"What?"

"The painting. What is the name of the painting?"

Will took a deep breath and let it out slowly, trying to calm down his frustration, but he spoke quickly. "It doesn't have a name. Apparently naming a painting would be pretentious, assuming that what the painting said to you would be the same thing that it said to others," Will rattled off a speech that Deanna had given him years before to the best of his recollection. "I personally find it pretentious to not name the damn thing in the first place, but nobody asked me. It hangs in the Betazoid Museum of Fine Art…" Will closed his eyes trying to remember. "Third room on the right, second painting in on the east wall. She used to go stare at the thing for hours. Supposedly if you clear your mind and I don't know…stare at it long enough it will reveal the mysteries of the universe or something. But to be honest I spent at least four hours staring at the thing last night and I got nothing. Happy?"

Worf kept a steady scowl directed towards him, but his voice was staying far calmer than Will's. "Not particularly," he answered.

"Will you give me the card now?"

"She will never believe that I chose that," Worf said pointing at the painting.

"Tell her I helped you pick it out," Will offered.

"More lies."

Will rolled his eyes. "Yes, Worf. I want you to lie to her. _I've_ been doing it pretty solidly for four months," he said bitterly. He tried to lower his voice. "Sometimes we lie to people we care about to make them happy."

"She will know we are lying," Worf said insistently.

"No she won't."

"Yes, she will!"

Will lowered his voice. It was the truth, but not easy to say. "She'll believe what she wants to believe. She wants to believe I'm fine with the two of you. And she wants to believe that you got her something she will love, because you know her well enough to pick out something special."

The room was deathly quiet for a moment while Worf stared Will down.

When he spoke, his voice was fierce, but quiet. "And she will like my gift better if you give it to her?"

"I…" Will shrugged. "I can pull it off as a gag. You can't."

That seemed to irritate Worf more than the rest, which only baffled Will more.

Will looked back at the door once more.

"Why?" Worf asked him.

Will looked back to where Worf stood. "Why what?"

"You would win. You give her a gift she loves and I get her something she hates. Why would you do this?" Worf asked him honestly.

"It's her birthday," Will told him with another shrug.

"And you would do this to make her happy?" Worf asked.

Will took the card off his own gift and held it out to Worf. "I'd do anything for her," he said softly.

Worf looked from the card in Will's hand to Will to the door that Deanna would walk through at any moment. Will pushed the card closer to him, and reluctantly Worf reached up and took the card from him. Slowly he took his card out from under the overly large bow and replaced it with Will's and then held his card out to Will.

Will quickly snatched the card from Worf's hand and almost slammed it onto the wrapped painting just as he heard the doors slide open behind him and the others in the room holler "Surprise!"

If the rest of the guests had a reaction to the scene they had witnessed prior to Deanna's entrance, they did an expert job of covering it.

"You knew, right?" Beverly asked Deanna about the 'surprise' as they ate cake.

Deanna smiles slyly and looked to see if Worf was listening. She wrinkled her nose in a perfectly adorable expression and nodded. "But it was fun watching him give it his best shot," she told those that were close around her as she looked over to where Worf stood, isolated slightly from the others, staring out into space.

Will had also seemed to isolate himself from the main group. He watched intently from a safe distance. She seemed to be having a good time, and that was enough for him.

"Okay, Worf," Beverly called over to the window. When he looked over to her, she gestured to the presents with a nod of her head.

"Presents?" Deanna said rubbing her hands together excitedly.

The guests gathered around her as she opened each gift and thanked the giver. Beverly had given her a basket full of bath items, bubble bath and creams and who knew what else. She and Deanna laughed. Geordi had finally decided on a different pair of earrings than the ones that Will had seen. They were nice. The color of the stones complimented Deanna's skin.

She held them up to her ears and smiled. "Thank you Geordi. I know how you hate picking out presents," she told him teasingly.

She opened Data's book next. Will recognized a look of slight confusion on her face, but he thought he might have been the only one to notice it. "Thank you Data," she said leaning over and kissing him lightly on the cheek. "I'm sure I will enjoy reading it."

Beverly was handing her the gifts and Will saw her hesitate before handing her the box containing what had been Worf's gift that now held Will's card.

Deanna took the card and read it. Then she looked up and met Will's eyes. He took a deep breath. He was going to have to put on a show if she was going to buy it. "Do I get a hint?" she asked him.

"Just open the box," he told her.

Deanna untied the bow and lifted the lid off the box. She slammed the lid back on the box and looked back up at Will with a sarcastic look of disgust. "Funny," she told him.

"A little birdie told me it spilled," Will said trying to keep a playful smile on his face.

"You are such a brat. What am I supposed to do with this?"

Will winked at her and kept his smile plastered to his lips.

Deanna took the lid off the box and took the bottle out to show the others. "Commander Riker thinks he is _so _entertaining," Deanna told everyone.

Will looked around the room and saw the others shift slightly and look mildly uncomfortable, though they did their best to smile. Worf, for the first time, looked upset. He was standing behind Deanna slightly, so he did not bother with the pretense of a pleasant expression. Will guessed that it was his accuracy at predicting her reactions more than her words that had gotten to Worf in the end.

"My mother gave me a bottle just like this, except she wasn't joking. Ahh, it's hideous," she said looking at the bottle. "Do I get a real present?" she asked looking at Will.

"That is your real present," he told her. "And I expect you to wear it, every day until the bottle is empty."

"Right, sure," she told him teasingly. "I'm going to give it to the next woman you go out with."

"Cute," he replied as she placed the bottle back into the box.

"Next gift," Beverly handed Deanna the last of the gifts on the table, eager to have the awkward moment gone.

Deanna looked at the wrapped gift that was quite obviously a book. She read the card and looked at the captain. "A sweater?" she asked facetiously, before peeling the wrapping back. She read the title and the forward quickly. "Fascinating," she said mostly to herself. "Thank you captain," she stood and hugged the captain and kissed him on the cheek as well. "I can't wait to read it."

"I expect a full report," he told her and she smiled back at him.

"One more," Beverly said pointing to the painting resting against the table.

Without even seeing the card, she looked back at Worf and smiled.

_Come on, play your part, _Will thought to Worf. And on cue, Worf stepped forward and kindly placed the painting in front of her. She took the card and read it to herself. Whatever it said earned him another smile, and then she tore the paper away to reveal the framed painting underneath.

The room had fallen completely silent, watching the reaction of not only Deanna, but Will and Worf as well.

Deanna let out a tiny gasp as she saw what was under the paper and her hand flew up to cover her mouth as if the noise had surprised her. Will watched as her eyes began to glisten with tears. They were happy tears and Will felt a genuine smile cross his face.

"I love it," Deanna whispered. "It's perfect." She stared at the painting for another few moments. Then she sniffed softly and wiped at a tear. She turned to Worf at her side and threw her arms around his neck as she hugged him. "Thank you," she told him.

Will closed his eyes and turned away slightly. He felt like his heart was being torn out, and everyone in the room knew it, except for her. He looked down at the floor and took a deep breath trying to plaster the smile back onto his face. But when he looked back, he saw the concerned, even saddened expressions on his friend's faces looking back at him. He didn't look back at the couple to see what Worf was doing. He didn't want to know.

The party went on as people laughed and talked. Eventually Deanna made her way over to where Will sat at a table alone. She walked up behind his chair and hugged him around the neck. "I forgive you for your ghastly gift," she told him softly. "And I know you must have helped Worf pick the painting."

"No, I didn't" he answered hoping that some part of that answer was honest.

"Liar," she told him, sitting down in the chair next to him. "And it's okay. It actually makes it even better," she said reaching out and putting her hand over his that rested on the table. She looked into his eyes and he tried desperately to hide what he was feeling from her.

She tipped her head to one side and smiled gently at him. "What? What is it?" she asked.

Will just shook his head. He needed something purely honest to tell her and fast. "I'm just glad that you are having a happy birthday," he said.

That seemed to satisfy her. She smiled back and leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you," she told him. "Love you." She was starting to rise and walk away to visit with another guest.

"I love you," Will said quietly, far more sincere than her simple endearment, but if she heard him she did not respond.

The group was listening to Deanna tell a story as the hour grew late. When the story was through, Geordi stepped forward to hug her. "I had better go. We are starting the coupling retrofits at 06:00, and it's getting late," he told her.

"Thank you Geordi," Deanna said returning his hug. "I really do love the earrings."

"Good night, Counselor," he told her stepping back.

"I'm right behind you," Will said seizing the opportunity for a graceful exit.

"You're leaving too?" Deanna asked, seeming disappointed.

"You heard him," Will said motioning to Geordi as he walked closer to her. "It's getting late. And I'm not as young as I used to be. Of course, neither are you."

Deanna slapped him in the abdomen with the back of her hand. "Thanks a lot."

But Will ignored her and leaned in and kissed her lightly on the cheek. "Happy Birthday Dea. You deserve it."

Deanna kissed him in return with her hand on his arm. Her hands lingered as if she wanted him to stay, but Will was anxious to have it over with.

"Good night," she said with a hint of sadness in her tone.

"See you in the morning," he said simply as he turned and walked out behind the chief engineer.

It wasn't long before the others had also returned to their respective quarters, leaving Worf and Deanna gathering the gifts to carry back to her quarters. Worf turned to find Deanna looking affectionalty at the painting leaning against the wall. He studied her for a moment before approaching, his heart heavy.

She was still smiling, but somehow she didn't seem happy.

"Is something wrong?" Worf asked her as he approached her.

Deanna shrugged. "It was a lovely party," she told him. "It's just that everyone's emotions seemed so…I don't know, jumbled. I guess I thought that our friends…by now…"

As he came up behind her, Deanna turned and hugged him again. " It doesn't matter," she told him. "I really do love the painting. I know just where I want to put it."

"Where?" Worf asked curiously. To him, it was not a particularly attractive piece of art.

"In my room, to the left of my bed. It just needs a light to accent it. Don't you think?" she asked, her arms still dangling around his neck as they both looked at the piece of art.

"I know Will must have helped you choose it," she whispered. "And it only makes it mean more to me. It is the best gift you could have chosen. Thank you." Deanna pressed her lips to his tenderly, but she quickly increased the intensity.

Worf wanted to respond in kind to her actions. He soaked in the feel of her quickly; her touch and taste against his mouth, memorizing it, before he reached behind his own neck and disentangled her arms to gently pull her away from him.

"Deanna," he began quietly. "I think we should talk."


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek TNG or any of its original characters.

To my readers: I am still loving the feedback! I know it is VERY short, but that is all for today. :)

Will sat in his favorite chair in his quarters in the dark, staring out at the stars out his window. He was lost in thoughts about Deanna. He just had to find a way to let her go. There was an ache in his chest that hurt so badly that under different circumstances would have sent him to sick bay for medical intervention, and even though he was exhausted, but he could not seem to rise and drag himself to bed.

It was very late when the chime rang on his door, so late that it startled him.

"Come in," he called without getting up.

The doors opened and he saw Deanna standing against the bright light of the corridor behind her. She walked in and without a word, dropped to her knees in front of him as the doors hissed closed. She looked tired, not at all the cheerful person that he had seen at her party. But as she looked at him, she smiled slightly, raising her hand and running it through the front of his hair tenderly.

"Thank you for the painting," she whispered quietly. Then she leaned towards him and kissed his cheek. Her touch was light, but lingered against his skin. Slowly she pulled away enough to look into his puzzled eyes.

He didn't speak. He didn't know what was happening. Somehow it seemed surreal.

Deanna's eyes remained locked with his, and for a moment Will thought he might have seen hope replace sadness. Then Deanna leaned in towards him again, this time pressing her lips to his. His mind began to spin as he felt her lips part and needingly press against his.

His hands came up behind her back and were ready to tangle in her hair, pull her to him, and return every move she made ten fold, but he could not quite let himself let go. This was not right. Something about this was, in fact, terribly wrong. Slowly he dropped his hands back down to his sides as she timidly pulled away from him. Again he looked into Deanna's large dark eyes. They glistened with tears, but unlike earlier that evening, they did not seem to be from overwhelming joy. Will noticed that they were both breathing hard as they sat staring at one another, neither of them saying a word. Then just as quickly as she had arrived, Deanna stood up and without another look, turned and walked out the door.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek TNG or any of its original characters.

To my readers: Okay, here it is. Hope it was fun to read. It was a blast to write. Would you like to know the worst part of posting a final chapter of a story that you have really enjoyed? The lack of hearing what you all thought of it. It makes me sad :( The final chapter is always the least reviewed. Have a happy holidays. I will be thinking of a really good story for you for the new year. See you soon!

The staff meeting the next morning was routine to say the least. The most interesting development on the ship was the retrofit of the warp power couplings in engineering that day. And it was probably for the best. No on in the room seemed to be at their best as they discussed the different departments, but probably none more than Deanna Troi and Will Riker.

Worf seemed stoically unemotional in his seat, unphased by everything that had gone on the previous night. Will was tired, numb even, from the sheer amount of emotions over the last few days. And after how last night had ended, he hadn't rested any better than he did the night before.

Deanna Troi had come into the meeting last and took a seat slightly away from the group. She also looked tired. More of her emotions were showing than she usually would allow, and her eyes were puffy and bloodshot. _From lack of sleep or tears_? Will thought as he watched her closely. He didn't quite know what to make of the situation. Something must have gone terribly wrong the night before, but when and what had happened was unclear to him.

"Counselor," the captain asked as the meeting drew to a close. "Do you have anything to address?" he asked.

Deanna looked up from where her eyes had been fixed on the table's surface. "No, Sir," she said simply.

"Well in that case, meeting adjour…" Deanna was up and out the door before anyone could react. "ned," the captain finished.

The rest of the table looked around at one another concerned. But Commander Riker's eyes went straight to the security chief on the opposite side of the table. "What did you do?" Will asked him angrily. He had ceased caring who else was in the room. Not after the night before.

Geordi, who was nearest the door looked briefly at the door over his shoulder, wondering if it would be safer to stay in his seat and try to remain unseen, or to get up and leave. No one else even made a move.

"I do not know what you are referring to," Worf replied emotionless.

"Like hell!" Will said, his voice raised. He looked from Worf to the door where Deanna had vanished. "You told her!"

"Yes. I did. I thought you would have known that much already." For the first time Worf's temper had flared.

A light went off in Will's head. '_Thank you for the painting,' she had told him. How had he missed it? _ "You broke up with her." Will said astounded. Worf didn't acknowledge his statement. "You' re an idiot!" Will yelled standing from his seat.

"No," Worf said rising from his seat as well. "But I do know what I want. And I am not interested in playing second best," he spat the words across the table at his superior officer.

Will stood stunned silent for a moment.

"My decisions are mine alone, Commander," Worf said trying to end the conversation and turning as if he would leave.

"Not when she walks out of the room crying they're not," Will told him. "I don't get you! You picked a bad gift…so what? So you break up with her? She didn't even know!"

"I knew. And so did you."

The two stood staring at each other for a moment. Will slowly began shaking his head. "Why?" he asked.

"You know why." Worf told him. "The only question is, what are you going to do about it?"

Wills eyes opened wide. "I didn't tell you to break up with her! What do you mean what am _I _going to do about it?"

"What's done is done." Worf told him. "My choices are mine, yours are yours."

"So, what? I am supposed to run after her?"

Worf raised an eyebrow in response.

"You just broke up with her!"

"She'll get over it," Worf sounded cold.

"How dare you…"

"She seemed to get over it last night," Worf interrupted him.

"What the hell does that mean?"

"I mean she left ten forward and went straight to your quarters!" Worf's temper reared its head again.

Will looked back at him shocked as he pictured the night before. "What? Were you spying on her?"

"Enough."

Will sighed. "Worf, that was nothing. She just..." he thought of how to explain. "She was there for a half a minute."

"That is not the point," Worf told him firmly.

"Then what's the point, Worf? Because I really don't think I know."

Worf paused for a moment. "Go after her," he told him plainly.

"I CAN'T do that!" Will cried in frustration.

"Why not? No one is standing in your way, but YOU!"

Will slumped back into his chair. "She is my best friend," he said desperately.

"I know," Worf said with a hint of his previous frustration.

"Do you think I get unlimited chances at this? I mean, if go after her now…that's it. It's forever. It's marriage and babies, or it's nothing and I blow it and I loose my best friend, for good," he said putting his head in his hands.

"You are a coward." Worf said flatly.

Will look back up at his friend. "Damn Straight."

Worf sat back down in his chair as well and the rest of the room released their collective held breath.

"I don't get you," Will finally told him.

"Yes you do. The difference between the two of us is that I would have let you fall flat on your face without giving it a second thought. I wouldn't have cared about whether she was happy about it or not," Worf admitted.

The room was quiet for a moment. "Really?" Will asked with a skeptical look.

Worf only arched his eyebrow.

"You would have let me just fall on my ass," Will asked again, for the first time that day a small smile playing at the corners of his mouth.

Worf leaned back in his chair and folded his arms across his chest. "Damn Straight."

…

Will rang the chime on her office door timidly. When the doors slid open, Deanna sat curled on the couch.

"Hi," he told her stepping into her office and letting the doors close behind him. He looked at her thoughtfully. "Want to talk about it?" he asked.

Deanna sighed. "About my wreckage of a love life or the fact that I walked into your quarters at 01:00 and kissed you for no apparent reason?" she asked embarrassed.

"Either," Will shrugged.

Deanna hung her head as she sat up a little straighter. "I'm so sorry, Will. I was so hurt and scared and… and I don't know what I was, but I shouldn't have treated you like that."

"Hey," he said walking toward her and sitting on the couch beside her. "It's okay. We all do things like that sometimes," he said tentatively putting his arm around her.

Deanna shook her head. "Act like an idiot?" she asked.

"More often than not…yes," Will admitted.

"Oh, Will. What is wrong with me?" she asked turning into his embrace.

Will sat back and let her rest her head on his chest. He tucked his arms around her and took in the feel of her in his arms. "There is nothing wrong with you," he whispered to her.

He heard a sarcastic muffled laugh against him. "Am I just fundamentally unlovable?" she asked.

Will kissed her hair that was tucked under his chin resting on her head. "You are the most lovable person I know," he told her.

"Then what is it? Do I just pick the wrong men?" she asked sitting up slightly.

Will made a face of mild agreement.

"Oh, shut up," she told him, putting her head back down on his chest. "It doesn't matter. I'm done with men anyway."

"Ouch," Will told her. "Do you want me to go?"

"No," she said snuggling into his arms. He had missed this more than he could possibly explain. "Not you. You are the exception to the rule."

"So, what? I get to be your wingman and we get to go pick up on beautiful women?"

She smacked him lightly on his chest, but he felt her chuckle against him. "No."

"You said you were swearing off men…" Will told her in his defense.

"Except you," she repeated curling against him as he rubbed her back.

"Well, that does significantly decrease my competition."

"Can't you ever be serious?" she asked him.

_No, not when I'm this nervous._

"Okay," he told her. "I'm being serious."

"I don't know what happened," she admitted to him.

Will felt guilt creep over him. He knew what happened. She was crying in his arms and it was all his fault.

"I mean, I know what happened. I just don't know why."

"Deanna," Will began.

_I love you. I've just been too scared to do anything about it._

"I know. We were so different. Part of why I didn't tell you what happened last night is that I didn't think I could take you telling me 'I told you so'. But you were right. You all were. What is wrong with me?"

"Maybe this isn't about what's wrong with you," he tried again.

"It wasn't just that I wanted to try it out. I really felt like I needed to, like something was missing in me. I should know better. I can't find what's missing in me by trying to find it in someone else." Deanna took a deep breath as she rested in his arms. "Maybe this is for the best. I need some time to think about me for a while."

Will's heart sank at her words. What was she saying? "Why?" he asked quietly.

"Why? Because I fall in love with men who don't want me, or can't stay with me. Because I can't keep doing this. Do you know why I kissed you last night?" she asked sitting up to look at him. "Because I was afraid that no one would ever really love me, because I was afraid that I wouldn't have children," she said tears forming in her eyes. "Oh, god. I sound like my mother." She buried her head in his chest again and started to laugh at the absurdity of it, but soon the sound changed to soft sobs.

Her shoulders shook as she cried against him. "Shhh," he began to whisper softly into her hair. "That's not true. You are so amazing. Can't you see how amazing you are?"

Deanna only sighed into his chest.

After a few minutes Deanna sat up and began wiping furiously at her eyes. Will smoothed her hair out of her face and wiped away a stray tear to two with the pad of his thumb.

"You okay?" he asked quietly.

She only shrugged her shoulders.

He smiled back at her. He had to tell her how he felt. "I love you, Deanna," he told her.

"Oh, don't you start with me," she said swatting at his arm.

"I mean it," he tried to tell her.

"Right," she said smiling. "I love you too." She was not taking him seriously.

"Did you love him?" he asked, though he wasn't sure he wanted to know.

Deanna only sighed, sitting against the couch next to him. "I loved that he loved me. At least I thought he did."

"He did," he told her honestly.

_Enough to let you go, which is more than I can say for me._

"Maybe I just didn't love him enough, or the way he needed to be loved. I know he wanted more, but I just wasn't ready." She paused. "To mate for life!" she tried to explain. "I mean, not that we didn't do anything. We did other things…"

"Okay," Will said starting to get up. "That's more than I need to know."

Deanna chuckled. "Coward," she told him.

Will looked back at her wide-eyed. _Damn, twice in one day? She HAD been around Worf too much._

He took a deep breath and sat back down next to her. He needed to try this again. He tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear and ran his hand along the side of her face and then continued down the back of her neck. "I do love you," he told her.

She smiled back at him weakly. He still didn't know that she truly understood what he was trying to tell her.

_She is so beautiful, _he thought as he sat and studied her face, breathed in her scent. _Flowers, _he thought, _definitely flowers. _Slowly he leaned towards her. He watched her closely to see if she would back away, but she only continued to smile at him. He moved closer until his lips were mere centimeters from hers and there was no mistaking his intention. Still she did not move. In one motion he pulled her to him and their lips met, softly at first. The feel of her against him sent every other thought far from his mind. He kissed her with as much need as she had the night before, but unlike him, she responded to his touch, parting her lips slightly as his tongue slipped into her mouth and his hands tangled in her hair as they melted together.

"Will," she finally said, pulling away from him.

"I know. It's too soon. I'm sorry," he said not able to look at her.

She stifled a small chuckle. "Maybe that too," she admitted.

"What?" he asked. Just then the chime rang at her office door.

Deanna closed her eyes and sighed. "I'm expecting a patient," she told him lamely, reaching up to wipe a smudge of lipstick from his mouth.

"Oh," Will replied awkwardly. "I should go," he told her. She nodded as he eased himself off the couch.

Half way to the door he turned back to her. "Have dinner with me, tonight… ten forward?"

Deanna flashed him that smile. That one he had seen only in his dreams for the last few months. "I've missed that," she told him.

"Me too." _You have no idea how much._

"I'll meet you there at 19:00?"

Will smiled in return. "It's a date," he told her, hoping she was starting to catch his meaning, as he stepped out of her office. He nodded quickly to the ensign who waited at her door and headed off down the empty corridor.

"Baby steps, Commander," he said out loud to himself. "You can't afford to screw this one up."

The End


End file.
